Being diagnosed with cancer at age 48 after a physical giving me a clean bill of health was like a slap in the face. Having had cancer has completely changed my life. I have only been dealing with my new life for 4 years so the memories and emotions are still very raw. I look at life a lot differently now. I don't feel very confident that I will live a long life. It is always in the back of my mind that maybe the cancer is somewhere else in my body right now and I just don't know it yet. My life is different now because the scars are a daily reminder of how with God's strength and grace I was able to escape death;....this time. I look at each day in more detail now.... I notice the little things... a beautiful cloud in the sky, a flower that has just bloomed in my yard, the dragon flies that float effortlessly in my yard on a sunny summer afternoon. I stress less on housework and more on staying healthy. I think more about what I put in my mouth everyday...is it chemiclly enhanced or organic? I appreciate the realationships I have with a greater value...they are precious and priceless! I sit back and watch my family members with more focus... capturing every word and action as a picture put into memory to keep for days when I need more strength...days when the cancer meds send me to bed with devastating migraine headaches that take me out of the game of life for sometimes up to 24 hours. Why did I get cancer when no one in my family has had it... including my healthy 95 year old mother?
Although I do not understand the reason why I was chosen to get cancer I am thankful that I was able to fight through the process after diagnosis and have made it just to the other side of what is a new life path for me. I am thankful for everyday and very scared because I don't know how many tomorrows I will have to enjoy. I want many more because I have so much more living to do... I have so many more memories to create with my loving husband and two beautiful sons. Cancer has taught me to never take anything for granted, to take time for the little things in life, to enjoy every minute that I have on this earth, and to know that even though fighting cancer is a lonely battle, God is always there to hold me up even when I am too weak to help. Having cancer has given me a "new" life to live and it has given me the opportunity to connect with people, to share my story, and hopefully help others to find their disease early enough to fight back from it and find their "new" life.
Candy Blankenbaker
Breast Cancer Survivor!
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